Online auctions continue to dish out top-of-the-range goodies while the chancellor tightens our belts for us.
After giving billions of pounds of our money to the country's top banks so they can lend it back to us at a massive profit, Alistair Darling had some more good news for us all this week. Bingo executives planning to upgrade their boilers would have been yelling "jackpot" at the top of their voices when the chancellor presented us with his practice budget on Wednesday. For the rest of us, everything in the shops is going to be more expensive and whatever it is that the government does that you like is probably going to stop because there's no money left.
Britain is in worst financial shape than Leeds United on the day the fish tank bill arrived. We owe money from Sheerness to Shanghai – and I do mean 'we'. The only reason the government can borrow £170 billion this year is because the investors and pension funds buying the debt know us taxpayers are good for it.
With this big black cloud hanging over us all, it would have been nice of Mr Darling to spread some seasonal cheer beyond Bingo bosses with crummy boilers. Free back rubs perhaps? Tax breaks on World Cup tickets? Or how about a week-long Christmas bank holiday?
The truth is, if you want to feel good, don't leave it to the politicians. They're too busy buying giant TVs, duck spas and porn with your money. If you want to get your hands on some seriously cool stuff in time for Christmas you're going to have to go out and get it for yourself.
Get signed up to an online auction site and test your wits against the experienced punters who regularly take home new cars, piles of cash, PS3s, DVD box sets and bottles of designer perfume for a fraction of their retail value. Unlike bingo – a poor man's online auction – sites like MadBid require skill, guile and bravado. You need a quick mind and a steady finger rather than a pair of fat ladies to outthink the competition and land the biggest bargains.
Credit crunch or fruit punch, when it comes to online auctions it's your bottle and your brains that matter, not your country's debt rating. If you've got what it takes to be a successful MadBid bidder you can have Christmas fit for a king and not even worry about what VAT stands for.
